Homeopape: Superhero Selection (std). *

Theft charges were dropped today against renegade superhero Joeyman after the key witness in the prosecution case against him, former drug lord Franky "The Camel" Camillero, was found murdered in suspicious circumstances in the maximum security wing of his Ingurian prison.

Camillero was found battered to death in the shower unit of the maximum security wing during a routine check by prison guards. According to the autopsy report, no weapon was used on the victim other than the human fist, yet the body was battered almost beyond recognition.

Suspicion for the murder has fallen on fellow maximum security inmate Hermie Slatum, who was found nearby the shower unit with severely bruised knuckles. Prison culture such as it is, however, no prisoner has yet come forward to assist police in their enquiries.

Former detective and professional crime consultant, Joe Munday, speculates that Camillero’s murder was no random act of violence, but a carefully orchestrated prison hit. "Someone powerful badly wanted The Camel out of the way, that’s all there is to it", Munday told us. "Police should be looking for who stands to gain from the crimelord’s death".

Thanks to unprecedented co-operation between superhero groups from Inguria and the Philippines, the notorious Angel Gang, responsible for outrages in both countries, was tracked to its base in the former northern Russia port of Archangel, and destroyed. A Pilipino superhero was killed in the course of the operation.

Wrong! The Mysterious Four has not been an active supergroup for many years, whilst the Blue Archer is an independent hero, with no group affiliations.

There has been much misinformation over the years about which supergroups are active in Inguria and who is a member of what group.

But now it’s a case of "Hero World to the rescue", as our embedded superhero investigative reporters give you the definitive list of who’s in and who’s out of each of Inguria’s active bands of crime-fighting superheroes.

Whatever you may have read to the contrary in the newsrags, there are only three supergroups recognised by the Ingurian Bureau of the Interior, responsible for the Ingurian Protection and Service Program, as engaged in actively patrolling Inguria. These are the Justice Crusaders, the Perioci, and the New Freedom League.

Of these three groups, the oldest, most well-established, and most prestigious is the Justice Crusaders. Long-time members are Raydon and Aggroman, with Flame as an Associate Member. After a period of limited activity, the group was revived by the joining of Armoured-Illo and more recently Heavy Metal. The Justice Crusaders’ prestige is such that two other heroes, Automaton and Mr Lightning, have applied for membership, but decisions on their applications are still pending.

Established by the late Edward Ego, the Perioci has perhaps been the most active of Inguria’s supergroups, but its more recent founding and early lack of organisation has limited the group’s prestige. One of the problems has been lack of resources- the group started out with nothing more than an empty headquarters, the mysterious Ego Cave- whilst another has been past confusion, even within the group’s own ranks, as to group membership. A further difficulty has been the death in action of two successive leaders- first Edward Ego and then Rainbow Warrior. Current members of the Perioci are Brute, The Contender, Madame L’Estrange, Le Jongleur, and new recruit Memnon. An unknown hero calling himself Morpheus is also being considered for membership.

Although formed only a few short months ago, the New Freedom League, through its leader The Shifter, has links to the original Freedom League, once Inguria’s premiere supergroup. Apart from The Shifter, the group’s senior members are Captain Birdman- the only Elfatoney superhero in any of the three groups- and Captain Kellogs. The comparatively junior hero, The Fishfighter, rounds out the group’s ranks.

Until recently, Conqueror Corporal Punishment Investigations was numbered by many amongst Inguria’s supergroups, but now the organisation is all but defunct. Even at its height the group’s membership was limited to Corporal Punishment and The Conqueror, with Eskiman as a Consultant Member. With the death of Corporal Punishment, the retirement of Eskiman from active heroing, and the increasing devotion of Conqueror to charity work, however, the group can no longer be considered as an active crime-fighting force.

After returning to Inguria from one of the greatest challenges he has faced since his battle with Dr Ruby, New Freedom League’s The Shifter paid tribute to Valence, a superhero from the Philippines supergroup QWILLLE, who was slain by supervillains in the recent joint expedition to Russia to seek and destroy the Angel Gang.

"We were fighting against overwhelming odds", Shifter told our reporter, "zombies, reptiles, insane cultists coming from every direction- and the Angels themselves were the worst of all. The most dangerous of them was on the point of killing me with its instant death power, when Valence tackled it from the air and brought the thing crashing down to earth. But it wasn’t dead, and turned its power on her instead of me. Even as I recovered and smashed the Angel to pieces, I watched Valence die. I had only known her for a few brief hours, but she saved my life."

Heroism indeed.

Despite ludicrous theft charges brought against him, crime-busting Joeyman has continued his war against drugs just the same as before. With many other heroes away on overseas missions, Joeyman was indeed the first and last line of defence for citizens of Inguria against the drug-dealing villains that prey upon the innocent.

And serving justice has its rewards. Not only has the case against Joeyman officially been dropped, but the teen hero has been increasingly seen about town lately with street-smart hoverboard champ, Natalia Neilson. Rumour has it that the two are "very much an item", and there have even been suggestions that the athletic Natalia is interested in the superhero game. Has Joey found himself a new partner in crime-fighting? Only time will tell...

In an address to businessmen at Bloomberg’s elite Croesus Club, leading Ingurian industrialist Hector Jameson called for more investment from rich nations like Inguria in the reconstruction of nations destroyed in the Six Day War.

"There used to be a world economy out there", said Jameson, "but then the war came along. Although the nuclear holocaust wiped out almost of our competitors, it wiped out most of our markets too. There are still people out there, but their economies are shattered- they are living subsistence lives. With Ingurian money, technology and know-how we can rebuild the world. Not only can we do a good deed by raising millions from their pitiful existences, but it makes good economic sense. We can get better returns through investments in war-ravaged nations, and create new markets for our products at the same time. Why the hell not?"

Mr Jameson’s words have been welcomed by charities seeking to improve the lot of worldwide victims of the Six Day War, including Inguria’s Save the Mutant Fund. "Money is urgently needed to save lives- there are mutants who lack even the most basic of necessities" said the Fund’s Chairman, superhero The Conqueror. Political economist Michael Measley, however, has spoken out against Jameson’s plan, fearing that the billionaire industrialist is more interested in exploiting cheap mutant labour in overseas factories unregulated by Ingurian labour laws than in improving the lot of mankind. "We are looking here at neo-colonialism on an unprecedented scale", the economist said. "This was the sort of thing that was happening in Korea during the Ingurian Protectorate. You can’t trust these capitalists as far as you can spit them".