I was never what you would call beautiful, nor even pretty.  I was a plain little thing really, and I preferred to remain in the background where no one would take any notice of me.  My father was a powerful man who had many chieftains in Northern Wales owing allegiance to him.  Many's the time my father lamented that he would have to pay a hefty dowry to the man willing to take such a plain girl to wife. It was comments such as these that caused me to turn ever more inwards and to seriously contemplate entering a convent.  It was with this aim in mind that I turned more and more to the Christian religion that my mother  converted to in her youth.  My father clung to the old ways of the Druids who at first fascinated me but as I grew in my Christianity they came to frighten me. There was one man of mature years who particularly frightened me as every time I came upon him he stared at me with such knowing that I feared that he had stolen my soul. His name I do not know as everyone called him simply, "the old man" even though in the early years he was hardly old.

My name was Ceridwen and when I was about 13 years old I ventured into a part of the forest surrounding our home where I had never been before.  I do not know why I ventured so far out of my normal way but I am so glad that I did.  I came into a lovely clearing through which ran a small clear and sparkling brook.  It was so beautiful that I lay down on some soft grass and before I knew it I was fast asleep.  I was awoken by the sound of a young man's voice saying, "Well, what do we have here then?" I opened my eyes to find myself looking into the deepest of blue eyes I had ever seen.  The most remarkable eyes in an otherwise plain face.  I was in no way frightened by this young man but as I rose to a sitting position I came to see that he was not alone.  With him was the very Druid known as "the old man" .  Now I was frightened but before I could make a move the young man had grabbed me under the elbows and raised me up.  As soon as he touched me all fear left me and then I realised that if the old man was with this gentle giant then my fear of him must be unfounded.

At the same time that I had this realisation the old man started laughing out loud and I knew that he had sensed my thoughts.  I blushed a bright red which I am sure made me even less attractive than I normally was.  This was the beginning of many visits to this clearing where I came to know Owain, as the young man was called and the old man. 

Owain was the son of a chieftain from the south.  When he was born he had a large red mark down one side of his face which so embarrassed his father that he ordered him exposed and left to die in the wilderness. The old man was just finishing his training with a wise man of the forest in the area that Owain was left in and he came upon him within hours of his abandonment.  He rescued the child and took him to his cave where he cared for him with the help of a young woman who had recently given birth to a stillborn babe and had milk aplenty to suckle the boy.  A few discreet inquiries led to the knowledge of Owain's parentage and so the old man decided that he would take the child and the young woman to the north where he intended to start his life as a wise man of the forest.  The old man referred to the young woman who became Owain's mother as Myrtle and after several months she was there when I came to the clearing.  She had been away to the south visiting her mother who she instinctively knew needed her after almost 18 years of separation.  Myrtle's mother was dying and she arrived in time to make her passing easier and to heal the rift that her leaving all those years before had caused.

It was in the next three years that I learned much from the old man who taught me the ancient ways and how they could be a part of my Christian belief.  Somehow I knew that my parents would not approve of my secret lessons and so whenever I saw the old man in our home I ignored him as I always had. 

Had I been a pretty girl I would have long since married but as my father was loath to pay the extra in my dowry there was not pressure to marry me off.  I think that by this time it was assumed that I would eventually go into a convent where my dowry would be much less.  By the time I was 16 I had fallen in love with Owain who had grown taller than when I first met him.  He was now a big bear of a man and I used to call him Bear.  He had a full beard which he wore to hide the red mark on his face and so only a small part of it was visible above the line of his beard.  I didn't even notice it anymore and to me he was most handsome. He would tell me that I had lovely hair and pretty little hands and feet and that my nose was just the right shape and size for a nose.

It was only natural that nature's urges could not be ignored and in the course of time I became pregnant with Owain's child.  We knew that my father would be furious but we were determined to wed as soon as possible.  We had not counted on the anger of "the old man".  He ranted and raved at us and got himself into such a state that Myrtle feared for his life.  It was she who managed to soothe him and to guide us in a circle to sit and plan our course of action.  It was decided that Owain must come to our compound and in some way impress my father so that he would see him as a worthy son-in-law.  The fact that Owain would accept the standard dowry was a factor in our favour.  The old man had a plan that should make Owain a hero in the eyes of all at our home.

The old man was held in high esteem by all in our compound except the Christians because of the great magic he could work.  Now a good deal of this was trickery and you could say that he was a master psychologist.  He did have the uncanny knack of knowing what people were thinking and his gift of prophecy and healing were genuine.  He very craftily spread stories of a young man that he knew from the south who was the only man who could wield a very unique magic sword.  In the meantime he set about acquiring a sword for Owain that would be so unique in looks that the gullible people of our community would believe without question that it was magic.  There was not time to forge a new sword but the old man had in his possession a huge sword that a dying knight gave him in gratitude for easing his passing.  It had been made especially for this knight who was, like Owain, much larger than the average man. The old man managed to engrave magical symbols on to the blade of the sword and that combined with its size did indeed make it look remarkable.

Now of course Owain had up until this time only rudimentary training in the use of a sword and so more trickery was in order.  The old man had connections in the compounds of some of the lesser lords of the south and it was from one of their compounds that he brought a young man of great skill to train Owain.  This man's name was Gwion and he and Owain became instant friends.  Gwion was promised a prominent position at Owain's side if our plan came to successful fruition.

Once Owain could draw the sword and hold it with confidence the old man brought him and Gwion to our compound.  The fighting men were all eyes when they saw both men and wanted to see this sword they had heard so much about.  Owain proudly showed it off and when one brash young man challenged him to a fight quick thinking Gwion stepped forward and announced that this sword could only be used in a battle in the defence of righteousness but if the man wanted a fight he would be his master's champion.

By referring to Owain as his master Gwion immediately gave the impression that Owain was a man of high rank and this of course was a bonus to our cause.  From this time on Owain and Gwion spent much time in secret training for the time when Owain would have to live up to his reputation.

Of course my father heard of the new arrivals and wanted to know all about them.  The person to tell him was the old man who spun many a fine yarn about Owain's parentage and past exploits.  Such was the spell he had cast over the whole compound that all believed him, even my Christian mother.

By this time my pregnancy was becoming obvious and I had to face my mother with it.  She was shattered and wanted to know who the father was.  I lied that it was a man who came upon me in the forest one day and had his way with me without my ever getting a good look at his face.  I said I was so ashamed that it happened that I kept it to myself but now had no choice but to tell her.

My father was mortified that this disgrace should befall him and of course blamed me for it all.  The old man had contrived for Owain to be within hearing distance when he knew that my mother and I were going to tell my father and he boldly stepped forward and offered to marry me to save my honour and spare my father the embarrassment of an illegitimate grandchild.  Our plan worked.  My father was so overcome by Owain's great sacrifice that he shed tears.  I felt a little guilty at deceiving him but knew that I had to maintain my position of being a stranger to Owain.

A wedding was quickly arranged and in due course my child, a girl, was born.  She was a big baby and my labour was long and hard.  I think that it was only due to Myrtle's care and herbal remedies that I survived to once again be a true wife to Owain.  Of course there was much talk about this child who was born barely five months into our marriage.  Once more it was Gwion to the rescue.  He was very quick to jump to our defence asking, "Don't you think that a man as exceptional as to be able to wield a magic sword would also be able to sow the seed for a child that could be born in half the time of a normal one?"  This of course implied that our little Morghana was also in some way magical and in order to continue with our deception we had to go along with this.

Morghana was the only child that I ever had to Owain.  Something must have been damaged during the birth and while I managed to conceive a few times over the ensuing years I always miscarried before anyone but Owain and I knew that I was pregnant.

I had two brothers who accepted this great bear of man as a brother and often Owain rode into battle with one on either side of him and Gwion following close behind.  Because Gwion had instigated the myth that Owain's magic sword could only be used in a battle of righteousness and the battles that he fought with my brothers were for ruthless subjugation of neighbouring lands he had to have a plain sword forged to use in battle.  Always he left the engraved sword with me as magic protection for as time went on we all started to believe in its powers.

At night time around the campfires the men would ask Owain the Bear to tell them what a battle of righteousness was like and at first he told them that it was not yet time for him to give them such knowledge.  Because the question was posed it caused Owain to think about what he could say.  Every opportunity he had he would spend with the old man talking of this and between them they came up with some very radical concepts for the time.

At first these concepts focussed on right relations between family members and neighbours within a common compound.  These concepts focussed upon respect and honour between equals and then they extended them to include respect and honour by those of high rank towards those of low rank. The symbology of the sword became central to these concepts.  Most people could accept honour and respect between equals but could not accept that those of high rank should honour and respect those of low rank.  This is where my father had a falling out with Owain but because he was my husband and a very valuable man in battle he rarely voiced his opposition to Owain's principles.

Both my brothers were mortally wounded in battle and my father died of a creeping sickness that none of the old man's potions could cure.  This left Owain as the heir to my father's lands and it was at this time that Owain and the old man decided that they would try to make these principles of righteousness and of the Holy Sword as it now was called, a fact of life in our lands. Their staunchest ally in this was Gwion.

In the meantime Morghana grew to be a delightful child.  She took after my mother in looks and therefore was much prettier than I ever could have hoped to be.  At least I didn't have any beauty to fade and in this the years were kind to me.  At least in Owain's eyes I was beautiful and to me he was always the most handsome of men.  I know that most women thought him a plain man and perhaps it was good that they did for I did not have the worry that one of them would try to seduce him.  Our love deepened over the years and perhaps the private grief that we shared over the loss of our potential children caused our love to deepen even more.

It became apparent very early on that Morghana had the gift of prophecy and this gift was nurtured under the tutelage of Myrtle when she was very young and under the old man when she had gone beyond the knowledge that Myrtle could give her.  She very much lived up to the reputation for magic that was foisted upon her at birth.

When she was approaching the age of 13 we knew that we should find a suitable husband for her.  We were torn between tradition and the longing for our precious child to experience the happiness of a true love union.  Myrtle suggested that we bring together a group of young men and women of around Morghana's age for tuition in the basic tenets of the Holy Sword.  Morghana had been brought up on them and so far it had only been a very few who showed a sincere interest who had taken part in campfire discussions upon these principles.  It was as this group of men and a few women sat in a circle around the fire that the principles of right living associated with the Holy Sword grew until it became a code of ethics to live a goodly life by.

By this time Owain had gained a lot of respect from the lesser lords under him and as our lands prospered while surrounding lands experienced harshness of weather conditions and sickness many began to think that it was Owain's Code of the Holy Sword that was bringing such abundance to us.  This encouraged them to send their sons and a very few daughters to our compound for training in this code of living.  Very soon a very learned and dedicated group of young people joined Morghana daily for their lessons and also for training in armoury.  We even allowed those few girls who felt inclined to do so to join in this training.  Morghana gladly joined this training. Many frowned upon this but it was all a part of the equality that formed the basis of the Code of the Sword as it had become known.

One of the young men who joined this group was the youngest brother of our very dear Gwion.  His name was Gareth and he was some four years older than Morghana. Morghana knew that we wanted her to marry for love if at all possible and that we hoped that she would find one among the group whom she could love and who would love her in return.  Just before she turned 15 Gareth asked Owain for her hand in marriage.  We were overjoyed that the brother of our beloved Gwion would now become the son we never had.  The marriage feast of Morghana and Gareth was the most lavish we had ever hosted and we invited all of Owain's subordinate  Lords and their Ladies.  Within a year of marriage Morghana had given birth to a beautiful baby son who she named Owain Medreut.  We soon tired of talking of big Owain and little Owain and started to call little Owain by his second name of Medreut.

Over the years of Owain's rule the only battles were to defend our territories against those who would try to claim them for themselves.  Owain had gained quite a reputation for bravery and prowess in battle while fighting my father's battles of conquest and he added to that reputation in the battles he fought to keep our lands.  By the time of Morghana's marriage he was known far and wide as The Bear.

Above all else Owain wanted our lands to be in peace and battles to be a thing of the past.  With this in mind he and Gwion started travelling to the compounds of rival Overlords to try to make peace with them.  When he did this he left Gareth in charge at home.  Gareth filled this role very well but after a few years he wanted the adventure of travelling with Owain and so Gwion offered to stay behind and let his brother go in his place.

Now it seems from all I have said so far that we now had an idyllic life.  This was not by any means the way of things.  Owain had many enemies both near and far.  He had survived several attempts upon his life and if it wasn't for Gwion and a few others we could trust implicitly then Owain would have been dead long before this.  At the time that Gareth went away with Owain and Gwion stayed behind there had not been a physical attempt upon Owain's life for over three years.  This did not mean they had given up.

In the course of his duties Gwion had cause to spend a lot of time alone with me discussing the various things that had to be done, decisions made etc.  Now Gwion had never married and had never seemed to want to marry.  This made some people suspicious of him as it didn't seem natural to them that he would not seek a wife to warm his bed.  It was very easy to start a convincing rumour that the reason that Gwion did not want a wife was because he was in love with me.  Once this rumour had taken hold it was easy then to convince people that the time that Gwion and I spent together was not all work.  Owain's loyal men quickly turned on Gwion for betraying their master and there was nothing I could do to make it any better as they also turned on me.  Things got very ugly and right up till Owain got home we were in fear of our lives.

Owain was shocked to find on his return that Morghana was in charge with the old man to advise her while Gwion was in hiding in the forest and I had taken refuge in a convent.  I don't know what Owain thought of all this and whether he believed it or not but by the time he came to me he was outwardly composed and he looked me in the eyes and asked me straight if I had betrayed him with Gwion.  I looked into those magnificent pain filled blue eyes and told him I never had and never would betray him with another.  I saw the pain clear and the sparkle return in an instant.  Together we went to find Gwion and bring him back to the compound.  Gwion did come back to the compound with us but it soon became clear that it didn't matter what Owain said. Most of the men now were suspicious of Gwion and we had lost something very precious.  Gwion decided that for the best of all he would leave and go back to his original home in the south and from where Gareth came to join him a few years ago.

I think their parting was the most heart wrenching thing that Owain and Gwion had ever experienced.  Whilst none of them blamed me I couldn't help but feel that I was to blame.  I thought that surely I was such a plain woman and no longer young that no one would believe that a man as handsome as Gwion would desire me.  How wrong I was in that it seems people will believe anything if it makes their ordinary existence exciting for awhile.  Gwion left making Owain promise that if ever he needed him in a crisis that he was to get word to him and he would come immediately.

From this time onwards Owain came to rely heavily on Gareth as he had done on Gwion.  Such was their love for Owain that eventually our people came to show me the respect that they had done prior to the rumours concerning Gwion.  Within a few short years things had settled down and Morghana and Gareth had four fine children, Owain Medreut, Elspeth, Myfanwy and Dafyd.

We had enjoyed several years of peace and many young knights came to us to learn to live by the Code of the Sword.  Every now and then a young woman would also find her way to us.  Of course nothing lasts forever and some powerful chieftains from the north joined forces with some from the south to try to wrest our lands from us.  These battles were deemed to be battles of righteousness and so Owain felt that he should take his magic sword into these battles.  However the old man said that the real power of the sword was not in its ability to maim or kill but to send magic out far and wide to protect the righteous wherever they be.  Therefore it was decided that the magic sword should stay with those of us remaining at the compound where it could send out its magic to wherever any of our men and women were fighting.  To make the magic stronger all our knights had a sword emblazoned upon their shields. 

It was into these battles that Morghana rode by the side of Gareth and it was in the last great battle that finally allowed us to have peace in our lands again that Gareth was mortally wounded and died in Morghana's arms.  I cannot begin to tell you of our grief for not only did we love Gareth for his own sake and grieved for him but we grieved also for Morghana and our grandchildren whose loss was even greater.

Somehow life went on. As part of the peace treaty made with the opposing Chieftains Owain agreed to accept a northern Chieftain's daughter Elaine as a bride for Medreut.  Elaine was some eleven years older than Medreut and we were less than pleased to have this alliance foisted upon us but for the sake of peace Medreut himself agreed to the union and swore to wear it well.

Right from the start Elaine seemed to have cast a spell over Medreut.  She was a very beautiful young woman and so it was natural that a very young man like Medreut would gladly do her bidding.  Within a year of the marriage Elaine had given birth to a son who Medreut named Owain Olwen.  It was at this time that our old friend Gwion returned to us, this time bringing a wife and two children.  Gwion's return did much to lighten our days and some of the old energy of the first years of formulating the Code of the Sword came back to us.  It was with Gwion's help that we formalised the Code into ten clauses that all of us agreed to live by.  The old man wrote them out and we proudly displayed the parchment on the wall of our meeting hall.

Elaine scoffed at the Code of the Sword and at first Medreut defended it.  Over time he ceased to do this and he became more and more withdrawn from us.  Eventually he declared that he and Elaine and Owain Olwen were going to leave our compound and make one of their own, farther south.  Owain reluctantly agreed to this.  It was a decision that cost him dearly.

Within two years of establishing their own compound Medreut did the unheard of thing of challenging his Grandfather's authority.  He declared that Owain was too old and infirm to rule the lands well and that he should formally hand over his authority to him who was his rightful heir. Owain who was still in excellent health, refused and sadly the battle lines were drawn.

Of course Elaine's father sent knights to fight with Medreut and the battles raged on and off for three years until finally Owain and Medreut came face to face in battle.  Gwion was a witness to this encounter and it was he who told me that Owain had the advantage and should have struck a mortal blow to Medreut but froze in the attack and allowed Medreut to deal the fatal blow. Gwion's fatal blow to Medreut came only moments too late to save Owain.

This was the final battle.  A peace treaty was drawn up and some of our lands went to Elaine's father to be held in trust until Owain Olwen became of age to rule them. Young Dafyd inherited Owain's lands and he vowed to continue to live by the Code of the Sword.  Morghana took strength in the fact that her youngest child needed her wisdom and magic to rule well and long.  Gwion vowed to remain at Dafyd's side for as long as he could be useful.

The old man was by this time very old indeed and he too was weighed down by grief as was Myrtle.  They both took leave of us all and went into the forest never to be seen again.

I was crushed by the death of Owain and my grandson.  My grief was so much harder to bear because Owain had been killed by the boy he idolised, his very own flesh and blood. I sought solace in a convent but never really knew peace of mind again in that life.  I didn't have to think much in the convent and I found the daily round of ritual and prayer was somewhat numbing to the pain in my heart.  I never stopped living by the Code of the Sword and at special times of the year I would return to the compound to spend precious time with Morghana and my grandchildren and great grandchildren.  I could never spend more than a few days at a time as the memories of my marriage to Owain were so strong that the ache in my heart would become unbearable and I would retreat to my convent once more.  I have no idea how many years I lived after Owain's death for to me my life ended with his.